Fantasy Daily: Fantasy for Women

Recently I have been getting a lot of questions about fantasy hoops, mostly from women. They seem to know as much about fantasy sports as Mickey Rooney knows about tasteful Japanese accents. It has to be tough for the fairer sex.  I’ve seen groups of men torture women with prolonged fantasy debate, discourse and often times (sadly) confabulation. I know the frustration of hearing long diatribes about the Federal Reserve and just wish somebody would take the time to humor me and simply explain what they are discussing. Now, by no means do I think fantasy sports have as much impact on the world as something as important as our economic system, but it does bring joy to many people. It has become a daily ritual for countless men, and I’d like to include women in this game. (And for those of you females who rock your male competition, I salute you. Also…what are you doing Friday night?)

The most important distinction I feel that I need to make is that although it is called fantasy basketball, everything is based in reality. All statistics that are compiled are the actual statistics that an NBA player records.  If Carmelo Anthony scores 25 points…you better bet your fantasy team gets credit for all 25 of those points. If Dwight Howards gets fourteen rebounds, those statistics are also added to your weekly totals. This seemingly basic principle escapes more people than I’d care to acknowledge, so I hope the air is cleared.

In a typical league, there are eight categories: points, rebounds, assists, blocks, steals, three-pointers made, field goal percentage and free throw percentage. There are also two types of fantasy leagues: head to head and rotisserie. In head to head you try to gain more points than your opponent on a weekly basis. Each week you accumulate points for all of your player’s performances. All of the numbers are added up and for each category that you outperform your opposition, you gain a point for the category. At weeks end, you tally the amount of categories you have won and compare them to the amount of categories you have lost, and that is your record for the week. By winning six of eight categories you receive a 6-2 victory rather than simply getting a single win for the entire week. The best records at the end of the season engage in a playoff, typically culminated in a two-week long championship match.

A rotisserie league (roto) on the other hand, has a similar principal, but the statistics are accumulated throughout the entire 82 game season rather than on a weekly basis. Let’s assume for a second the league has twelve teams. Each category is scored identically, with twelve points going to the person who leads the category down to one point for whoever is in last in the category. By that logic the most points somebody can accumulate is 144 (12 times 12) while the least points somebody can score is 12 (and you’d have to be a worse manager than Isaiah “Do I have a bull’s-eye on my back” Thomas).

The fundamental difference between the two leagues is that in head-to-head you can stack your team in certain categories. You can draft players like Dwight Howard who shoots a terrible free throw percentage and simply accept you will lose the category every week. You can be the best in five categories and the worst in three but still win a league championship. Not in rotisserie. In a roto league, the number of free throws Howard shoots at that ghastly clip will cripple you. If you played to dominate five statistical categories (somewhere between 1st and 3rd in the category) and tank in the other three, you would not have the firepower to win a league. I am in first place in the one ESPN rotisserie league I am in, and it is by having balance. I do not even lead the league in scoring, but I am winning with 63 points (and only ten teams are in the league). The key is balance. Other than free throw percentage, every category earns me seven points or more.

The debate between which type of league is more legitimate is a complicated one. Rotisserie is probably the most accurate way to gauge which team is most well constructed; however, it can become quite monotonous to manage. From day to day you see very little movement in the standings. At year’s end, the team with the best statistics will always win, but that’s not the way it is in any other form of basketball. Head to head leagues on the other hand, engage teams every single week. If you are way out of first, you can take home an 8-0 victory and jump back into the playoff picture. Once the playoffs roll around, any team still has a chance…just like in the NBA. People will get upset if they have the best team on paper after a long regular season, but suffer a defeat in the playoffs, but let’s look at the alternative. Do we eliminate the element of competition completely? You are competing against every team simultaneously instead of the glory that comes with trash talking your friends when your fateful match-up rolls along. In the NBA the Suns don’t get extra points for leading the league in points and field goal percentage. In fact, the Suns would likely be the best team if NBA squads adhered to roto league settings, and it would be hard to argue that they are actually the NBA’s best team.

Because of all these differences, the strategy in a roto versus a head to head league varies greatly. In a head to head league, one is more inclined to simply take the best player available. You can work around a flawed player and in fact build the team to cater to their strengths. At a certain point in most drafts (typically after five rounds) you get a good idea of what type of team you have. In my money league, I was lucky enough to land the second overall pick. The draft moves snake style, which means if I pick second one round, I will pick second to last the next round. If there are twelve teams, the team picking twelfth will also pick thirteenth making sure all teams have equal value. So after I drafted LeBron James, I took a point guard (Jose Calderon), center (Brook Lopez), center (Mehmet Okur) and power forward (LaMarcus Aldridge). At this point I had a lot of big men and knew that rebounding and shot blocking would be my teams forte. I also had two great passers (LeBron and Calderon), which provided a good start for assists.

Sadly, my best shooter was a center and I knew three point shooting would not be a strength going forward. A lesser manager would reach on a shooter and take him many picks too high just to add balance. This strategy always bites managers on the tuchas. Shooters in particular are a strange bunch, as the role of a shooter on their respective teams seems to vary the most from year to year. One year a player like Jason Kapono can be amongst league leaders in the category provided the right opportunity and turn into a valuable asset. The next he may be stuck playing fifteen minutes per game and lose all relevance. A player like Kapono brings little else to the table so avoiding shooters who bring nothing else to the table is always something to remember at draft time. Shooters are typically the easiest to identify early in the season and can be picked up via free agency without wasting an indispensable pick. Examples of valuable undrafted shooters this season include Danilo Gallinari, Channing Frye, Anthony Morrow and, in many leagues, Aaron Brooks. Amongst qualified league leaders, those four all rank in the top fifteen in three pointers made. More to the point, Frye and Gallinari were both completely irrelevant last season. Moral of the story? Don’t waste early picks on pure shooters.

With some insight into the workings of a fantasy league, the only real question remaining is why? For some it may be the thrill of competition. Others? The chance to play GM. Some may simply need a means of keeping themselves engaged during the long NBA season. For me it is purely love of the game. I’m the type of individual that will tune into a meaningless matchup between two bottom dwelling teams just to notice up-and-coming players and pick apart coaching strategy. This is far from the norm. I would say a majority of teams are run like an NCAA bracket. You enjoy making your picks at the beginning but after your team falls out of contention, your interest fades and is often put on the backburner. It can be frustrating to watch the lower tier teams let their roster fall by the wayside as they end up being as competitive as Dennis Kucinich in the New Hampshire primaries. While fantasy basketball provides many with a terrific forum to prove themselves a hoops connoisseur through shrewd pick-ups, most people do not have the same views. Unlike football where there is only one game per week, basketball involved constant updates and will never have the intensity of its pig-skinned counterpart. Different from baseball, you do not see the same degree of surprise breakouts and the late-season call-ups of valuable young prospects. When we follow our leather pumpkin (thanks Tina Fey) bouncing friends, draft strategy is by far the most important element in building a winning team. Unfortunately, while basketball is my favorite sport, it simply lacks the fluctuation in player’s year-to-year production, which makes its fantasy brethren so popular.

If all of this jibber jabber has sailed over your head, fear not. There’s a great saying, “fake it until you make it.” Who cares if you actually know what you’re talking about? As long as people think you know what you’re talking about, you’re in the clear. I have at least one roommate who proves knowledge and facts are completely overrated. (God I hope this sarcasm is being relayed) So if any feminine females want to flabbergast their family and friends with fantasy facts, fasten your seatbelt. Talk about efficiency, and I don’t mean your cars miles per gallon. Knowing players with low turnover numbers, high assists and good shooting percentages are a fantasy owner’s delight, even if they aren’t necessarily the best players in real life. Mo Williams, Jose Calderon, Raymond Felton. All names to remember. Even more impressive? Players who aren’t NBA all-stars, but because of their well balanced game or specialty in individual categories, they have great value in this fantasy realm.  Nene Hilario, Marcus Camby, Gerald Wallace. They don’t have the name cache of Vince Carter or Paul Pierce, but they are definitely more influential on your team’s success. If that doesn’t work…talk junk on certain writers and analysts. Nothing bonds us alpha dogs like a good scapegoat. Brandon Funston and Matt Buser of yahoo sports are easy targets. Looking for some entertaining insight? Drop the name Rick Hamla from the NBA network. It’s sure to wow even the most avid fan.

This information can help you discuss fantasy with your male co-worker or friend. Hopefully men will respond in kind and talk about the most recent issue of US Weekly and the newest gossip on teen heartthrob Rob Pattinson (or is it cock-throb if a man is talking about a woman?) Hopefully this is viewed as only slightly offensive and is regarded without thoughts of sexism. I realize women are very worthy fantasy adversaries, but when it comes to fantasy leagues, it’s a total sausage fest. We’ve all seen the women-folk dominate March Madness. Sadly, my own mother has picked better brackets than I have the past few years. Give fantasy hoops a try. It doesn’t take an expert, just look at fellow Hoops Daily writer Jon Pastuszek. I love you buddy, but I’m guessing most readers could do better than your .192 winning percentage. So to all the female readers out there, I hope you no longer feel more out of place in a fantasy league than Gilbert Gottfried in a library. And for those of you holding out for a fantasy WNBA league…well…I hope you’re patient.

David Solar can be reached at David@hoopsdaily.com