O’Neal has fun right to the finish

Shaq thanked his parents and his children. He thanked the league and commissioner David Stern. He chased seriousness with humor.

“I’m going to miss a lot about the game,’’ O’Neal said. “I’m going to miss the competition, the camaraderie, the friendship, the fans, joking around with the media, and I’m really going to miss the free throws.’’

He thanked Jackson, who coached him to three titles with the Lakers, and Celtics coach Doc Rivers.

“Phil Jackson was the one who taught me how to really focus and really, really concentrate on what was going on and how to get to that championship level,’’ O’Neal said. “Playing for Doc Rivers this year was really special because we had a lot of talent on the team, but Doc Rivers always, always, always focused on the team.

O’Neal said that since he was retiring, his collection of nicknames would be retiring, too. “The Big Aristotle.’’ “Shaq Fu.’’ “The Big Shamrock.’’ “The Big Cactus.’’ “The Diesel.’’

“And finally, the one and only, original, never to be duplicated or replicated, ‘Superman,’ ’’ he said, not passing that torch to Magic center Dwight Howard. “So from now on, you guys can call me the ‘Big AARP.’ ’’

He did, however, give a nod to Howard.

“There’s only one real dominant big man right now, and that’s Dwight Howard,’’ O’Neal said. “I expect him to win three or four championships. If he doesn’t win three or four championships, I’ll be disappointed.’’

Saying that in Orlando, the city that once had hung its championship hopes on O’Neal, seemed ironic. He then opened it up to questions, and didn’t avoid ones that dealt with the way he left Orlando — signing a $121 million contract to play with the Lakers and “other selfish reasons like movies,’’ he said.

“I wish things would have worked out different,’’ he said. “In business, guys have to handle their business the right way. [The Magic] have a chance, they’re one or two pieces away from getting it done. I’m going to be calling [Magic president] Alex Martins and I’m going to be getting some of those floor seats. For free, of course.’’

As for his well-publicized beef with Kobe Bryant, O’Neal said it was a matter of being “task-driven’’ and not “relationship-driven.’’ That task was to win a title, and he and Bryant won three together.

“A lot of people think we hate each other,’’ O’Neal said. “It was all about the tactics.’’

O’Neal said he’s still considering surgery to repair his inflamed Achilles’ tendon. Recovery would take nine months, he said, just one reason he killed any speculation of a possible comeback.

“I definitely won’t be back, and let me tell you the reason why,’’ O’Neal said. “Toward the end of my career, I started to get a little bit selfish. I always heard the two most dominant players were Wilt Chamberlain and Shaquille O’Neal. Wilt’s at 31,000 and I’m at 28,000. If I had like 100 points fewer than him, then I would come back to pass him and that would put me as the most dominant player in the world. But I’m about three years away, so I’ll just have to remain at No. 5.’’

O’Neal’s stepfather, Phillip Harrison, pointed out that he could have cut the gap if he had knocked down more free throws.

“He said, ‘You dummy, if you would have hit those free throws like I taught you, you would have had 30,000 points,’ ’’ O’Neal joked.